The Longest Relationship I've Ever Had

March 22, 2018

The Longest Relationship I've Ever Had

As I drifted through single life in the mid aughts, it occurred to me that what I needed was a dog. I'd grown up with Sprocket but college and post-university housing and life changes seemed to prevent responsible adoption.

Wembley arrived in March 2006

Until 2006 arrived and a search on Petfinder shared with me a handsome cairn terrier who had been tied up outside a home in Billerica all winter and was subsequently seized by the police. The little guy, whose name was changed from Troy to Herbie, was living with a foster family in Medford.

I inquired about his availability, noting his resemblance to Sprocket and that most importantly, he didn't shed. The nice adoption folks explained that there was a lot of interest in Herbie, so if I was truly interested I should apply immediately.

Not supposed to be on the chair

So I stayed up later than usual and completed the evaluation essays, and was elated later in the week to receive notification that I would undergo a couple interviews to determine if I was suitable. To that point in my life I don't think I'd ever wanted anything as much as I wanted to welcome him to my four-story and exceedingly quiet home.

A few weeks later as March readied to turn into April, and after passing the rigorous background checks, interviews and meeting the scraggly two-ish-year-old terrier, I drove back to Medford to bring him home. A list of names on a notecard had been whittled to about 10, but in my heart I knew I would probably call him Wembley.

Turning 30 in 2007

Sprocket, you see, was named for the dog in Fraggle Rock, and Wembley was of course one of the Fraggles. It didn't hurt that the national football stadium in London was also named Wembley.

Many new owners might have been turned off when he chewed through his first leash, jumped out the window as we pulled into our condo complex for the first time, so eager to meet and play with his new buddy Tuck Kern. Or later that night, when I stepped into the master bathroom and moments later returned to find him standing dead center of my king-sized bed urinating. Or in the days to come when it became clear that he was food aggressive and would attack anyone near him while eating or protecting a toy, or who startled him whilst sleeping.

Passover in Lexington with Uncle Matt

When endeared me immediately was that for two weeks Wembley followed me everywhere. If I walked into the kitchen, he walked into the kitchen. If I went upstairs, he climbed behind me. I learned that this was common with adoptions, pets whose previous families had abandoned them, pets who did not want to be abandoned again. So I made a promise to Wembley that his new home would be his forever home. He would never be abandoned or tied up outside or neglected again.

Wembley was potty trained quickly, but often didn't care to go outside and peed or pooped in the house. He bit at least four people and snarled at many more, usually moments later wagging his tail with seemingly no recollection of his momentarily aggression.

Wishes for the newly engaged Kerns

He once ate an entire Costco bag of bananas, an entire loaf of bread and a bag of chocolate candies, albeit not at the same time.

In his younger days Wembley hated three things: squirrels, cats and UPS trucks. The latter came regularly through our complex and Wembley always made known his vehement opposition to the delivery service. Once alone with a cat in Rachel's home at the time, Wembley ferociously chased the cat throughout the house.

Several times, Wembley escaped. My father opened the condo door and Wembley took off, later to be tracked down making friends with a girl in a nearby Marlborough neighborhood. Another time he miraculously crossed Rte. 20 and wandered into the embroidery shop, whose owner recognized him and called me. The most alarming was Wembley's

Hopkinton Reservoir

foray through the streets of Chestnut Hill, as Andi and I trolled the streets ahead of a flight to Florida in desperation, luckily finding Wembley investigating trash cans a half mile away. His most dangerous disappearing act occurred in Lexington, when he tricked the guards, er, tether, in my parents' backyard ... we had no idea until the same random number rang my mobile three times in quick succession as we enjoyed dinner. A kind woman had spotted him walking along Rte. 128 and for some reason he hadn't dashed off when she approached him.

Wembley's adventures included regular trips to Falmouth and the Hopkinton reservoir, where he liked to swim, and to Wayne, Maine, where he was so enamored with the sunset he didn't even notice the squirrels.

Little dog loves to swim

He once tired walking down the Shining Sea Bikepath from Falmouth to Woods Hole, so I carried him the entire way.

He welcomed Rachel to the family by pooping next to her in the back seat when Dave Kern and I picked her up in 2010. Perhaps it was an invitation to she and Charlie to move in with us, so Wembley could finally have the brother he wanted.

Wembley loved playing with Charlie, and they often slept next to one another. They liked riding in the car together and barking at sounds outdoors.

Best friends? Brothers? Both.

He has been in kayaks and canoes and dressed up in Halloween costumes. He has torn up more tissues and shredded more paper towels and crushed more plastic water bottles than the Marlborough Transfer station. He has collected more burrs on his face and body than we could ever count, and eaten more dead flies than a venus.

In June, Wembley -- now largely blind and deaf -- became internally ill, and after a long hospital stay it became clear that we might have to say goodbye. He returned home on a Thursday and we agreed that if he didn't eat his time was sadly up. It was the proverbial bottom of the ninth with two outs.

Once enemies, then sort-of friends

And on that Friday afternoon my mother tossed some chicken on the floor. Wembley ate it.

She tossed some more. He ate it.

He always liked her cooking best, and it turns out Wembley's time wasn't up then; so we've been blessed to have Wembley peeing on the dining room floor and making us smile for the last nine months. Caico has been able to growl at him a few times a week when he absentmindedly approaches her bed; Dublin has been able to sniff him and kiss him; and Brady has been able to continue pretending Wembley doesn't exist.

March 22, 2018

Despite the near blindness, the near deafness and liver turmoil, Wembley never lost the wag in his tail nor the joy of riding in the car with his head out the window. During his final car ride, Wembley's weakened body still had the strength to climb the door and stick his nose to the heavens.

On my application back on March 15, 2006, I wrote that I was "eager to find a new forever friend."

Rest in Peace, Wembley

Now 12 years later it was time to say goodbye, time for Wembley to join his Tuck and Charlie across the rainbow bridge.

At 5 pm tonight Wembley was in my arms and Rachel in his gaze as we told him we loved him.

I will always have two scars from two Wembley bites -- on my left pinkie and my right ankle. They hurt bitterly at the time but now serve as a sweet reminder of the little, wonderful, pain-in-the-ass dog who I loved unconditionally and will miss forever.

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