Still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?

It's been nearly eight exasperating days since glorious sun bathed Massachusetts in yellow and orange. Eight days since the lazy people last walked their dogs. Eight days since little kids played soccer and went for ice cream. Eight days since I could use my sundial. Massachusetts is so sun-starved, residents are drooling as they pass the golden dome of the statehouse. The only sun we've seen in the past Beatles week is on Steve Nash's jersey.

As a graduate of Ithaca College and four-year, temporary resident of Ithaca, N.Y. I am highly prepared to survive a dearth of sunlight. In bleak Ithaca, the sun would often disappear from parents weekend in October until commencement in May. Legend has it the IC and Cornell faculties passed a no-sun resolution to keep students focused on coursework.

Massachusetts is apparently trying to wrest the title “Dreariest City” from the evil grips of Cortland, N.Y. and Bangor, Maine. Here in Eastern Mass we have experienced record rain and surely record cloudiness. I am all for green thumbs, but Mother Nature is certainly confused – the earth's plants need water, but they also need sun!

Before May's showers (do they bring June flowers?), Massachusetts suffered an enormous precipitation deficit. The only greater deficit in these parts was the number of games the Bruins finished out of first place. The only thing the Commonwealth needed more than snow and rain was for its governor to occasionally be in the state.

But President Bush take note – what once was a deficit is now a surplus! Though, Mr. President, please be aware that rain from the sky will not cure the financial woes you've strapped to your country, to my generation. We can discuss that another time.

According to the meteorologists at Boston's WHDH-TV, we are now enjoying more than 4 extra inches of rain. Hooray for the environment! Hooray for flowers! Hooray for worms! Now get out of here!

If I controlled the weather, it would rain once a week. Probably on Thursdays. Why? It just seems like a good day for rain. There are also good television programs on that night. Better than the weekend, right? Better than starting your week with rain on Monday, right? So why not Thursday? If I controlled the weather, it would be rain on Thursdays, every week.

I wish that for every times someone has wished me good luck with my ark building, I had a dollar. No, make that a sunny day. Here's what I have lost in that span: $250 in wages due to soccer clinic cancellations, quality dry time outdoors with my dog, the chance to see the Sox beat the Rangers at Fenway, the opportunity to watch my cousin graduate outdoors, and my freakin' sanity!

Let's make a deal. Deal one: Tim Howard's spot on the U.S. Team (does Bruce Arena really need a third goalkeeper?). Deal two: Heidi Klum and the girl from the Mercury Mountaineer commercials (she doesn't need a name, and you don't need the details). Deal three: A few dry, sunny days.

Um ... deal three, please.

Other than umbrella salesmen, nightcrawlers, the Gorton's Fisheman, and maybe Kevn Costner, who loves this rainy, cloudy, homicidal weather? One day of rain is nice. A couple days of doom and gloom keep me inside getting chores and writing done. But eight days and counting ... I'd rather take a sauna with Cosmo Clifford and his drum set.

Yes Ringo, tomorrow will most certainly rain, so maybe we should follow the sun. Yes Bruce, I am waiting on a sunny day. Yes Mr. Fogerty, as long as I remember, the rain has been coming down ...